i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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