I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
