I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
