Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
