my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
