How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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