i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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