they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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