We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
