I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
