I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
