I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
