Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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