Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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