Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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