so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize