If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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