her vagine was all disorganized.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
