he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
