Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
