i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ttyl tear gas
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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