I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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