all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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