just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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