good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize