I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize