Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
