I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Come on in and take your pants off
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