can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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