That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize