Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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