It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
