My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
