Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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