You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
