Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
