I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
