Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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