i will never coherently bang her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
