I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
