butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
