last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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