dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
