Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
