I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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