Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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