saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize