i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you win again, gameday.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize