I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
People in love make me want to vomit
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
