The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
