I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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