i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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