I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
