I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize