u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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