My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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