i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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